I couldn't forget you,
Tears is a reminder that i am still loving you,
Could you let everything return to zero and restart everything?
I could only stare into a world of darkness,
And keep thinking of you,
As dark clouds had been getting more and more,
But i just couldn't chase the clouds away,
No matter what i do,what i said,
Dark clouds would be there forever to surround me.

Is it a wrong that i fall in love for you,
Or is it a right to remove the curse that you had given me,
A curse that you had given me deeply,
No matter how i tried to give myself the medicine,
It couldn't cure the curse.

Nobody knows that i am still missing you,
I know hate is easier to put down than love,
But when the tears had flood the entire heart,
I think i could let my quietness answer all the questions,
I told you i would love you with all my heart,
But in the end,
I broke it,
I am the person who broke it,
So i got no right to ask for your forgiveness or anything,
Because i know is i deserve it,
This is my retribution,
So just let me suffer alone in the darkness,
Don't care about me and let me be in the darkness forever.

In the past,
When i love you,
You said that i love you too much and you request for some freedom,
When i started to give you some freedom,
You started to said that i started ignoring you,
So can you tell me what can i do is correct?
I love you too much is because i would scared you would leave my side one day,
But when i started to give you some freedom,
You had really leave my side,
Could i love you more and more so you could not leave my side just because you said i am flooding you with my love that you can no longer breathe?
Please,
Tell me what to do in order to gain some of your care and concern and perhaps some of your love?

----------------------------------------><----------------------------------------

Yesterday is 28th..which is my birthday..
Hmm..overall..stil not bad..
wake up in the afternoon..met my mum at tampines for a lunch..
after tat,when to M1 to check about the laptop modem..
didnt bought the old modem,so took 27 then my parent alight opposite stop at compass point
then i took bus to buangkok there,walked home to took the old modem
then took bus 80 to compass point to meet my parents..
=D



new modem look like a thumbdrive ya?
haha!
at first thought of askin my dad to buy something for me as my present,
but in the end,those games shops didnt open for business..
so took bus 80 to rivervale plaza to bought some breads..
after buying,then walk home..
reached home around 8.50pm ba..
watch ch8 at 9..
after watchin,watched wrestling,eat dinner n start to play com
=))



Overall,still can consider not a bad birthday celebration ba..
=))



Here is a thank you list for some friends:


YingYing Cockeye(First person to wish me hapi bday on 25th via BLOG)
Guiqing(First person to wish me hapi bday on 25th via SMS)
HuiFen MEI(Second person to wish me hapi bday on 25th via BLOG)
Kumiko(First person to wish me hapi bday on 28th via SMS)
JiaJin SOTONG BUDDY(Second person to wish me hapi bday on 28th via SMS)



In Random order:

Jaslin(Via blog)
Xiao Xue(Via blog)
Irene(Via blog)
HuiFen(Via blog)
YingYing(Via blog)
JiaJin(SMS & Blog)
Kumiko(SMS & Blog)
Guiqing(SMS)



Thanks all for the wishes..I noe i had been repeatin same names frm the top to the bottom,but afterall,thanks all for remembering my birthday..=DD
Wish all of you had lotz of ang bao to take in this brand NIU year ok!!!
JY in ur studies too..=DD

----------------------------------------><----------------------------------------

Will you be the first person to wish me Happy Birthday?
How i wish i could get your wishing for my birthday,
Even it is in my dream,
I would be very happy,
Because it would be my prettiest dream ever,
As well as it is my best birthday present ever.

But me,myself and I know that dream would never come true in real life,
That would only appear in fairy tales,
And i know i do not have the chance to be your prince once,
Because your dream prince is not me,
And i wish you would return to my side as a princess,
But i know that would never ever come true.

真正的爱情是不要求回报的，
真正的爱情是值得等待的，
真正的爱情是不固一切来付出。

I thought we could have a world that just belongs to you and me,
But when you left me,
Everything seem to be like getting lost for me,
And i thought after you left me,
I would feel happier,
But in the end,
The darkness of my world remains,
And everything are seem to be getting darker and darker.

----------------------------------------><----------------------------------------

对你的想念只有加没有减，好想为你做不可能的事，
为你拔虾壳如果你想吃虾，为你拔螃蟹壳如果你想吃螃蟹，
为你按摩如果你累了，为你察眼泪如果你哭了，
为你学下厨，就是希望你能吃到我做的菜，
借你肩旁如果你需要一个依靠，好想为了你放弃一切跟你一起远走高飞。

离开你是我的错，但我始终放不下你，
时时刻刻想念你，分分秒秒忘不了你，
没有你的日子了，生活真的是很难过，
想你的心没人知，爱你的心没人懂。

如果我们还能从来，你是否还会属于我呢？
我只要能够，再一次好好抱着你，
好好感受爱的滋味，让我有多一点难忘的回忆，
世界因为有你才完美，天空有你才会灿烂。

能不能回到从前，再好好的爱一遍，
不管多久，不管多远，我只要你在我身边，
如果时间能倒留，你是否还会解开我的谜惑呢？

如果我的坚持到底能换回曾经的爱，就让我用一生来等待，
如果我们的美好回忆你已经不在留恋，就让它随风飘去，
是不是爱你就能拥有你的心，想你就能拥有你的人？

能不能再给我一个好好爱你的机会，我答应你我不会再离开你身边一步，
从此会好好的保护你，爱护你，疼爱你，照顾你的点点滴滴，
我好不习惯没有你的日子，真的是好难过，好希望能再好好的抱着你，一睡到天亮。

----------------------------------------><----------------------------------------

----------------------------------------><----------------------------------------

Dunno wan to say wat leh..
as usual wake up lor..
haiz..
stil like missing u n keep thinking of u leh..
tell me wat to do ar??
i hopin tat i can ask u go to my bbq gatherin..
if u can go,i guess tiz is the best bday present of tiz 19yrs le..
haiz..but i noe u cannot go de..so i wont force u..
some say is stupid,y u like her,dun dare to go for it leh?
but i reli dun wan u to hate cox of my irrating attitude..
haiz..cox i scared if i bcome too good towards u,my feelin towards u will go deeper n deeper..

haiz..tat y i choose to keep my feelings in my heart..
only i,myself n me noe abt it..
haiz..how i wish i can go out wif u agn..
go to the places tat we went b4 agn n agn..
haiz haiz haiz..
plz tell me tat u willin to go out wif me agn..
juz a simple outin wif u,the one n only u..
i would be damn hapi n smile for ur sake..will u??
haiz..

Ever thought that loving you is such a difficult matter,
Knowing you is my destiny,
Being with you before is my fate,
Breaking up with you is my regret,
Being friends with you again is my pain.

----------------------------------------><----------------------------------------

kk..tat is all for the pics..wake up 1+,juz keep feelin so sleepy..=.=

hmm..den went to serangoon garden here to eat stingray agn as my mum wan to eat..

order carrot cake,chicken wings,satays n of cox the main dish is stingray..

haha!! after eatin,my dad go buy soccer,buy le soccer den take 136 back to kovan to buy some new yr stuffs..

buy le jiu took 119 go hm..reach hm 7+ nia..so bored lor..

if got time mayb will take a pic of my hse is full of new yr stuffs..c le oso blur..LOL..

k lor..dunno wat to blog le..sianz..stil thinkin whether wan to hav my bbq or not..if last min cancel confirm will kena kan by frenz de..haiz..sianz!!! wat to do leh??

thot a bbq gatherin is quite simple de,mei xiang dao is so complicated de..=.=""

boring!!!

i m stil thinkin of u every mins,every sec..haiz..emo-ing ba..it might b the best way for me ba..

----------------------------------------><----------------------------------------

Why i am still missing you and thinking you,
Knowing that everything belongs to you doesn't belongs to me now?
Thinking of you is now what i can do,
Please,
Let me know what to do in order to sense just a bit of happiness?

I had a thought of suicide when i thinking that i lost you,
Because i had nothing,
I am alone afterall,
So thinking that,
Why still bother to live in this world without you by my side.

Just will keep thinking of the happy moments that we had,
Even though the moments are very short,
But to me,
I had the whole world in the hand,
But after you left me,
The whole world had crashed into pieces,
Just in one single night,
Everything had been crashed into pieces,
Why i still need to bother to think about your affairs when i know no matter how i trying to find back the love will never ever come back?

In the past,
I felt that being with you every second,
Just like having every single one of my wishes come true,
And no matter how many miles are between us,
Our love would always be there,
But know,
Even you passed me the entire planet,
I am still feeling empty,
Because the one and only pretty tree had fallen apart,
So had any others tree would only be the extras in the forest.

I always thinking that we will be together till our hairs grows grey,
Facing each new day,
But now,
In the tears that fallen upon my face,
Your memory fades away.

You are just like some salt on my opened wound,
Reminding me that you once were here,
Warm like the blood in my veins,
The love i had for you.

I once felt that i am the luckiest guy in the planet,
Because i had you by my side,
I am lucky enough to show other guys that you are mine,
But everything had changed just in one single night,
And now,
I am only the loner guy in the planet.

----------------------------------------><----------------------------------------

Well..
Tiz few days lazy to blog as gt nth to blog cox keep slackin at hm..
countin to my ns is gettin nearer nearer le
so bored..
CR go ns le..no one pei me chat le..boring lor..
i wonder he manage to book out durin 22th or 23th leh?
LOL! den if can den i drag him go BBQ..=XX
Anyway..Today is GINA NUER de 14th bday le..
Yr after yr,u had grown up a yr older le.
haha! muz jy in ur studies hor..
Daddy will pray n jy for NUER too de..=DD

hmm..dunno wan to blog wat leh..cox got nth to blog de..=.=
so boring..go out oso borin.stay at hm oso bored..
anybody stil wan go BBQ?? Faster confirm wif me hor..
=DD

----------------------------------------><----------------------------------------

Tagged By Vicki Crazygal to do this quiz..=)


1.Who is the last person sms-ed you?
JiaJin Sotong Buddy..

2.Your relationship with her is?
Sotong buddies..=D

3.Your 5 impression of her?
Cute,Friendly,Pretty,Sweet,Joker

4.How long you're friend/gans with her?
Hmm..Many months le,but didnt count..LOL..

5.The memorable thing she gave you.
Friendship..=DD

6.If she become your lover,you will?
Be happy ba,i guess? lol

7.If she break the friendship with you what you will do?
I guess she wont do it ba..=D

8.If she become your enemy what you do?
Tried own best to save this friendship..

9.If your girlfriend wanna break what you will say?
Of cox is try to save this r/s lor..=))

10.Do you want to change your stead for what she is in now?
Nope..B ownself is the best..=D

11.Do you want to be famous and let people know you are Bi,Gay,Les?
LOL!! too bad i m not anyone of it..

12.If you're a gay,les,Bi and your school know it,what wil you do?
Den like tat lor?? lol.dun hav tat day come one..LOL..

13.How did you get to stead with your stead?
Via Teenage Magazine..

14.Are you a straight,Gay,Les or bi?
Fei hua,of cox is straight lor..

15.If you're a homo and your parent want you break with your stead,will you?
Lalala!! not my problem at all..wahaha!!

16.What was the present your stead gave you on your 1st month?
Nothing..

17.What you love about your stead?
Love mean love lor,stil got love abt wat..=.=

18.Did you went before your stead house?
Yup..met her mum b4 too..

19.Name 5 things you hate about your stead?
Nothing ba..

20.When is the date that you started the relationship?
170808

21.When is your last relationship ended?
201008

22.If you're a homo,do you wish to let your classmate know?
Lalala...too bad i m not..

23.Do you ever got a ring from your stead?
Nope..Rings is i bought for her de..=D

24.Name out the 5 things that your stead buys for you.
Hmm..I only got paper stars frm her..

25.What is the fav thing you get from your stead?
Paper stars n straw heart..

26.Did you sacrifice for your stead?
Yup..

27.Will you risk your life for your stead?
Mayb ba,wait got tat day den say ba..

28.Did you kiss,LC with your stead before?
I think majority de people did it b4 ba,include me oso lor..LOL

29.Who is your last relationship person?
Joycelin

30.How many ex you got?
4

31.Do you know anyone is crushing on you?
Mayb??

32.Are you a hongster?
If u think i m den yes lor,if u think no den no lor..

33.Will you tiongxim with your stead?
of cox lor..

34.Do you believe in love?
Yup..stil waitin for my ms rite ba..

35.Can your stead tolerate you?
Shld b lor??

36.You have pass through how many months with your stead?
2months+ ba

37.Why did you break with your stead?
Izit a vaild reason if i say she lies to me??

38.Who is the one who ask a stead request?
Me lor..

39.How long did your last relationship end?
2months plus

40.Name out 10 people that you wana sabotage to do this quiz.
Lazy to name..Let it be the 10 lucky people to tag my blog de to do it ba..=D

----------------------------------------><----------------------------------------

歌手：光良
作词：光良　作曲：光良

我带着一颗疲惫的心走了 我知道自己在你心里已不重要
虽然我们曾经相聚过 也许对于你来说
已经没有什么值得回忆 我带着一颗沉重的心走了
我知道自己没有勇气道别离 虽然我们曾经拥有过
但是对于你来说已经没有什么值得回忆

难道早以注定 不能真正拥有你 难道我真心付出一切
只为了承受孤单和寂寞 我知道你不敢对我坦白
是不要看到我的伤怀 虽然你没有说要离开
我已经感到你不再属于我
如果你还爱我 你不会对我如此的冷漠 又怎会让我在漫漫长夜独自徘徊
如果你还爱我 你不会对我如此的冷漠 我只能含着眼泪默默的离开

难道早以注定 不能真正拥有你 难道我真心付出一切
只为了承受孤单和寂寞 我知道你不敢对我坦白
是不要看到我的伤怀 虽然你没有说要离开
我已经感到你不再属于我
如果你还爱我 你不会对我如此的冷漠 又怎会让我在漫漫长夜独自徘徊
如果你还爱我 你不会对我如此的冷漠 我只能含着眼泪默默的离开

如果你还爱我 你不会对我如此的冷漠 又怎会让我在漫漫长夜独自徘徊
如果你还爱我 你不会对我如此的冷漠 我只能含着眼泪默默的离开

----------------------------------------><----------------------------------------

Why am i stil feeling so down?
Why am i stil feeling so empty in the heart?
Why am i stil wishing to see you appear in front of me again?
Why am i stil crying for you again and again yet no one give it a damn on me?
Why am i stil hoping to hold your warm hands in the middle of the street to prove to others that i am so proud to have you by my side?
Why why why???

I do not understand why my heart is still so hurt when i started to think of you,
Why am i so stupid to keep missing you when i know everything had been impossible for me?
I really wish i could hate you to the core,
So that i won't be so miserable like now,
But i can't,
No matter what i trying to do,
I just couldn't hate you,
Is it because of the memories that you gave me is too deep for me to hate you?
Or is it because my heart is no longer can hate anyone at anytime?
The love that within you is really too deep for me to put down,
Even though i know the love is too heavy for me to carry,
But i had been forcing myself to carry it,
Am i really so stupid to carry a hope which i know is totally impossible to fulfill at all?
Or is it because i am unwilling to put down this burden and had been pulling me back from walking away?

I am really very tired of anything,everything,
But no matter how i tried to walk,
I am stil stuck in the world of darkness,
Haiz..

----------------------------------------><----------------------------------------

Some of my friends said i am emotionally unstable,
So what if i am?
Does anybody cares whether i am mentally unstable or emotionally unstable?
I don't think so,
I don't think even when i am dying,
Anybody will cares or bother about me,
Because i don't DESERVE anybody care neither nor concern nor even pityness,
If you think that i am mentally unstable or emotionally unstable,
You are free to disown me this friend,
Because i don't give it a DAMN.

Forget it,
No one would cares whether i am dead or alive,
Sometimes i am thinking,
Is it when i am no longer in this planet,
Problems will not keep coming?
Because i don't even know what problems that i had,
That is what is the biggest problem of all,
Haiz,
I am really really tired living in this world,
Who can free me from this world?

I am really very tired missing you every night,
Thinking of you every seconds,
But what can i do?
That is why i said i am really tired living in this bloody world,
Haiz..
I am really sick and tired of living in this world,
Anybody can tell me what to do in order to be happy?
Why i live in this world 19 years,
I can't felt a bit of happiness living in this world?
Days are getting darker and darker for me,
And no matter how candles are lid,
I can no longer see a bit of light,
I had been blind by darkness,
And it would forever been blind.

----------------------------------------><----------------------------------------

At first i thought i can stop myself from crying,
But when i miss you too much,
My tears eventually cannot control itself,
And i am so hurt,
Why i wish to have someone there for me,
Eventually there is no one for me,
Why i wish to have someone for me to cry on,
Eventually there is no shoulder for me to cry on.

I am so hurt and pain now,
Who is there to understand the pain that i had?
Who is there to understand the suffers that i had in my heart?
Who is there to listen to my rubbish when i needed someone to be my listener?
Who is there to lend me a shoulder when i needed something to lean on?
I guess nothing and no one is there for me.

I am sorry,
When i promised you i won't cry,
It is all fake,
Tears eventually dripped down from my eyes,
No one knows my pains,
No one knows my tears,
No one knows my heart is bleeding,
No one knows i am dying.

Why others could get so called "EverLasting Love",
But i don't get to see it,
When i didn't get to see it,
I won't be able to sense it,
When i didn't be able to sense it,
I will die due to over-bleeding,
Trust me,
Over-bleeding won't last long,
It will be over soon,
When you will no longer see a lonely boy in this world,
Talking about rubbish things.

----------------------------------------><----------------------------------------

You really had changed le,
In the past,
When you changed your blog URL,
You will tell me your new URL,
But now,
You just changed your blog URL without telling me,
I am wondering,
Am i a friend to you?
Even i am ugly,
I don't even deserve to be a friend with you?
You hate me also don't need to do things untill this stage de,
You do things untill this stage,
Do you know my heart is damn damn pain?

Why you didn't thought of people's feeling de?
I am not dead leh,
Why you can treat others like your friends,
But cannot treat me like your friend??

I hate it when people change URL or MSN or HP no then didn't even bother to tell me,
Since then,why still bother to be friend with me in the first place?
Be friend with me then next second just like a stranger,
Then why waste your energy to find friends??
I hate it man!!
I hate myself too!!!
FUCK IT!
SUCK IT!
I hate myself for falling for you,
But everything is useless,
Everything had been unchangeable,
I do not want things to goes into this stage,
But since you are the one who goes this stage,
WTF more can i say?
Because no matter WTF i said is TOTALLY USELESS le..
NBCB!!!! haiz!!

----------------------------------------><----------------------------------------

I found myself slowly fallen for you,
But when you started to ignore me,
Everything had been lost to me,
I felt extremely lost when you didnt reply me in MSN,
I felt extremely lost when you didnt reply my smses,
I guess let nature takes its course,
And let fate decide our destiny ba,
No matter what you doing,
Where you are,
I will be praying for you secretly,
Hoping you would get nothing but the best,
One day if u decide to reply me,i hope we are still friends,
If doesnt,then let it be ba,
I wont blame god for setting such a ending,
As i know what is best for you and me.


I will prayed for u and give you blessing no matter where you are,
No matter in your studies,relationships,family problems,friends problems,
I will pray for you that the worst would go away,
No matter what,you are FOREVER in my heart.. =)

----------------------------------------><----------------------------------------

Every day had passed,
But what had you done,
In order to be happy?
You choose to leave me,
And choose another happy and cheerful world,
Since then,
My world had become a darkness world,
Why after the time passed so long,
You still won't show a little concern to me,
Just for 5seconds will do,
Forget it,
I know you won't,
Because your side now got him,
And shows that you are happier with him,
It is the fact,
I can do nothing at all but to accept it.

You know what i am doing every night,
I cried in the middle of the night,
I couldn't sleep at night,
I used watching TV and playing computer to try my best to forget you,
But my tears eventually still dropped down to my cheeks,
I cried every night,
I sat in a corner just hoping no one would saw my tears,
As i don't wish anybody to get worried about me,
So i cried secretly in a corner every night,
Hoping one day you would be there to dry my tears,
Untill today,
My one and only wish,
Is to hope you would always be there to dry my tears.

I am trying the very best to tell myself to think about your bads in order to hate you,
But i do not know why the more i told myself to hate you,
The more i could not bring myself to hate you,
In fact,
I hate myself more then you,
I hate myself for not cherishing you,
I hate myself for not loving you when you need someone to love,
I hate myself for everything that i did to hurt you,
No one could ever decrease the hates that i had for myself.

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